A Mental Health Reflection For the Woman Who’s Always Holding It Together Written by: Joniel Gyles
“I checked on everyone. No one checked on me.” – Unknown
A close friend recently stumbled upon a poem I wrote sometime back, and with this piece focusing on mental health, it felt only fitting to share. I’d be lying if I said I could remember my exact state of mind when writing this poem, but what’s evident from the words is the reflection on the many times i’ve felt broken and how I’ve managed to over time surrender myself to the process of falling part; just breaking and allowing faith to lead. Here’s the poem:
“Some people are afraid of falling apart,
not me,
I’ve fallen apart so many times,
that I’ve learnt to appreciate the process;
of shedding old skin,
of letting life have its way,
of becoming something new each time life breaks you into jigsaw pieces.
Broken is beautiful;
if you can glimpse into the future and see the whole art and not isolate singular parts,
for they are nothing when they stand alone,
and so is the story told.
So be,
embrace life’s twisted symmetry,
let the colours fall how they please,
unravel the chaos to find your inner best,
for becoming is not to be feared,
“The only thing to fear is fear itself.”
I promise, one day it will all make sense,
right now allow yourself to sweat.”
J.Gyles
Mental health struggles don’t always look like breakdowns. Sometimes, they look like overachievement, people-pleasing, or complete silence, especially for the “strong ones.”
In Caribbean and Black culture, we are raised to endure. Taught to pray through it. Push through it. Keep it together at all costs. But here’s the truth: many of us are silently breaking, falling apart bit by bit, not just tearing, but ripping at our seams. It’s the sad reality, and it pains me, that so many lighted, vibrant, glowing women have become just a shell of themselves.
Between our jobs, other responsibilities, and trying to hold space for everyone else, so many women have forgotten the woman she once was. Her chest is tight. Her spirit is tired. She tells herself it’s just stress. She doesn’t dare say “anxiety” out loud. That would make it real.
Well, let’s make it real:
According to the World Health Organization, women are nearly twice as likely to experience depression, yet we often suffer in silence due to stigma, shame, or the lie that strong women don’t struggle.
But they do. I do. You do. We do. And it’s okay.
Sometimes, falling apart gets easier with time, as reflected in the poem earlier. Sometimes it doesn’t, and that’s okay too. So let’s try to normalize some things:
“You are not lazy, unmotivated, or stuck. After years of living in survival mode, you are exhausted. There’s a difference.” – Nakeia Homer
Let’s normalize this:
- Therapy is not a betrayal of your faith.
- Asking for help and support when needed.
- God can handle your sadness.
- Crying doesn’t mean you’re weak.
- Rest is resistance.
- Healing is not a luxury. It’s your right.
This Mental Health Awareness Month, we’re not just sharing statistics—we’re sharing truth.
Let’s check on the “strong” friend.
Let’s celebrate therapy like we celebrate promotions.
Let’s make it okay for our sisters to say, “I’m not okay,” and still be held with love and dignity.
To the woman reading this:
You don’t have to earn rest.
Your feelings are valid.
You are allowed to fall apart.
And when you’re ready, you are allowed to heal:
Quietly.
Boldly.
Fully.
This month, give yourself permission to feel.
Then take the next step:
Book the session.
Tell the truth.
Get the help.
Because your mental health matters more than the mask.
The World Health Organization (2023, March 19). Depressive disorder (depression). Who.int. Retrieved May 17, 2025, from https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/depression#:~:text=An%20estimated%203.8%25%20of%20the,among%20women%20than%20among%20men.