Written by Joniel Gyles
I came across the term “quiet quitting” a few months ago for the first time on Instagram, and just like that thing that happens when you hear a song for the first time, I started hearing people talk about it A LOT. I also saw it almost everywhere on the internet. I sort of blame it on the web cookies. They’re the worst, but by the second time I saw it, I was curious enough to click and find out what was “so exciting” about #quietquitting.
Imagine how disappointed I was when I found out quiet quitting was nothing new. Just an old concept that had a new label slapped on it. Quiet quitting also known as coasting; doing the bare minimum; just enough to stay hired, is an age-old tale that needs little to no explanation.
Though there is no standard definition for quiet quitting, in summary, it is a justified refusal to go above and beyond in situations where you previously did, by making firm boundaries where none existed. The fact is, by whichever internet definition was used, people were quiet quitting, long before the trend went viral, and… maybe you were too?
At the start of the trend, many dissatisfied Millennials and Gen-Zers took to social media and shared with followers that they were “quiet quitting” in toxic work environments. Not surprisingly, as the trend evolved, so did its meaning, and the idea of “quiet quitting” was extended to other areas of life such as relationships, and just life in general. But really though who wouldn’t? Who wouldn’t get tired of giving their best only to always come short of feeling like your partner doesn’t have your back when you’re giving your 100%? Of being overlooked for the promotion you know you deserve? To keep failing in reaching your fitness goals, when you’re eating healthy and working out? To not know what to do with challenging kids because you’ve tried every trick in the book? Sounds familiar?
Burn-out will have you feeling off, grumpy, and unusually tired, no matter how many hours you sleep…This is not something you can fix with a daily cup of coffee
Doing something repeatedly with no result to show for it, is frustrating, to say the least, heartbreaking even, but if you’ve significantly decreased your efforts in achieving any desired outcome, chances are you really did quit without even realizing it…and that’s ok, because sometimes quitting is a necessary step in moving ahead.
Among the top reasons why people “quiet quit” is burn-out because there’s only so far you can go before stopping to replenish whatever is keeping you going. Burn-out will have you feeling off, grumpy, and unusually tired, no matter how many hours you sleep…
This is not something you can fix with a daily cup of coffee. Look, If you’re not on the receiving end of things ever (whether that be care, love, resources, time, or emotional support), you’ll probably continue to “quiet quit”, because in some ways it’s an act of self-preservation. But, sis, cars running on fumes can only go so far.
Maybe you aren’t burnt out, but somewhere, somehow, there was a slow surrender to the status quo, you became okay with not having your needs met, and things that once excited you became a chore. Sis, this is no way to live. Stop being mad at the world. Assess your situation. Throw out the passive-aggressive and the fear. Stop saying “I”. Speak up and make your needs known. It may be time to have a discussion with your boss or that partner who’s barely doing anything while you are keeping him around because he is cute. Hire some help at home, if you can. Delegate some tasks to persons you can trust. Find your passion again.
To be frank, “quiet quitting” can help in coping with uncomfortable situations, but it won’t be long before you realize that you’re doing yourself a huge injustice. There may be situations where quiet quitting is necessary, especially when you need to be cautious or mindful in a situation. That being said, you should quit believing you’re a bad mom because of your kid’s bad behaviour. Quit doing everything by yourself and, lastly, quit minimizing your needs to make others happy.
