Written by: Tameika A. Smith

There’s an old proverb that says “curiosity killed the cat” and is usually used to insinuate that searching for something out of curiosity could lead to a discovery that was either dangerous or problematic.

Most people tend to live on the extreme side of things. On one hand, curiosity may indeed be detrimental to the person seeking answers, and on the other hand, being curious may lead to peace in resolving a matter than needs to be debunked or resolved.

Nevertheless, if you ask me, curiosity didn’t kill the cat, if anything curiosity gave the cat independence, lest we forget that the cat has 9 lives.

I was a curious little girl when I was growing up. I was the type of girl that learned almost everything the hard way. ‘Why’ was my go-to response for anything that didn’t sit right with me, but often times my curiosity went unresolved with a “because I said so.” For most of my teen years, my curiosity was misunderstood for rebellion, and oftentimes, rightfully so.  However, there were other times when my curiosity put me in a more favorable position to learn, grow, and to even have more compassion for others.

What I know now that I didn’t know then is in my quest to get answers, I was really engaging in a process of self-discovery at an early age but there was no space created for me to express that fully.

Self-Discovery

By definition, self-discovery is the process of acquiring insight into one’s own character.’ We need our teens to understand the importance of building character in this generation like never before, and their capacity to regulate their emotions and become problem solvers is a fundamental part of Self-Discovery.

Meeting the basic needs of your teen is one thing, but there can still be some psychological needs that can cause major problems if they go on unresolved. The truth is, most parents aren’t aware of those needs, even after having them when you were an adolescent.

The teenage years are nothing short of unique and the parenting that they require encourages self-discovery through independent thinking. We must teach our Teens autonomy. They need to know that they have free will and the power of choice. However, as their parent/guardian, it is our responsibility to guide them into exercising their will to make the right choices.

A critical role you will have in this is to formulate questions that speak to their identity. Questions that help the Teens consider their passions, determine their value, and describe the things that are important to them, along with the things and people they are most grateful for.

Doing this also helps them to appreciate their unique expressions and show up with more authenticity amongst their peers.